Moreover, it only through the understanding of these

Posted On: October 17, 2013

Talk in the Intimate Relationship

In : His and Hers, Deborah Tannen discussed the importance of communication in terms of making or breaking a relationship between couples. It explored in detail moncler outlet how most often than not, it is these failed attempts in Moncler Outlet jacket communicating with one another that couples find themselves in shaky ground. By tracing the roots and the underlying causes of these differences, couples, or both men and women, are given insights as to how various cultural and personal experiences work dynamically to create these differences. Moreover, it only through the understanding of these differences that effective Discount Moncler Coats communication between opposite sexes could truly be achieved (Tannen). Effective communication is a vital lifeline of a successful relationship between a man and a woman. This paper would try to explore the social womens moncler jackets dynamics of communication as a culturally defined skill based on personal experiences and gender based expectations of the society within moncler jackets mens the context of intimate relationship through compare and contrast analysis and how the understanding of these differences could help both men and women to communicate more effectively.

buy moncler jackets The study of transformative learning emerged as a concept on the field of adult learning through the works of Jack Mezirow.

moncler sale outlet Personal ExperiencesTannen argued that the difference in communication perspective, style, moncler coats cheap and moncler jackets on sale approach between men and women begin during the early stages of their personal experiences in life. Culture in communication would be based and molded by the interaction of the gender with other cheap moncler jackets outlet people. For case in point, girls would tend to play in close knit circle where trusts in relationship are highly valued reinforced by loyalty and shared secrets. For an moncler jackets toronto existing member of the social group, this meant security and stability in terms of built relationship among playmates. However, for an outsider trying to get in the group is more difficult as the outsider would have to first gain the trust and confidence of the members of the social group. Once done, the former cheap moncler jackets wholesale outsider would tend to enjoy an equal status among other members. And for those who break the social group wherein trust is violated, it will be more than difficult to enter back and regain the trust of the peers as compared to an outsider trying to make her way into the circle.

moncler outlet moncler outlet mall store In this case, the emphasis on communication is building relationship. Communication among females is not merely a moncler jackets for women direct way of sending and or receiving messages rather, envelops to which relationships could be moncler jackets canada built. Communication is not merely a moncler coats for women talk moncler jackets exercise but a form of moncler coats for men building relationship, ergo the bond between girls are reinforced.

moncler mens jackets As compared to boys, communication is perceived as something that is more of a status building endeavor rather than relationship building. Boys would often associate communication as something that would build their status. Thus, when a boy moncler outlet uk would tell an interesting story, more often than not someone else have to top it. If that can’t be done, the boy often times moncler coats sale get the prestige and status. And because communication is hinge on status building rather than moncler coats relationship, it is easier for moncler coats outlet boys to join social groups and accept new members of the circle. However, because the membership on the group is not based on built relationship, there is unequal social status. Unless a boy could prove his worth, then he is often times at the bottom of the pack. comparing stories and experiences. There are no underlying meanings, or social norm attached but an actual talk of something worth telling.

cheap moncler moncler jackets men These two discount moncler outlet different approaches on personal experiences goes way back to childhood enculturation. The difference in past experiences of both man and woman defined their perception and attitude towards communication early on in life. This process of being indirect but conveying negotiated agreement is termed by Tannen as Meta messages. Understanding Meta messages is a by product of the culture of communication employed by women since they cheap moncler coats for women were little girls. Ergo, gender played a huge part among women in knowing, understanding, analyzing, and interpreting the ‘hidden’ or indirect messages within the context of the message being communicated. For case in point, women would bond together to help a friend who just broke up with her boyfriend because they knew that the Meta message behind consoling the broken hearted friend meant reinforcing the personal relationship and that there is a need for the friend to have assurance that the break up is not her loss, the boyfriend was a jerk, etc. The Meta message here is that the broken hearted friend needs to find assurance that she is an adequate women and that she was not at fault of the fall in the moncler jackets kids relationship.

moncler outlet For men, communication finds its meaning in the overt or direct message being communicated rather than over analyzing each messages being communicated. This culture is again based on the social norm experienced during childhood that male does not necessarily find communication as way in building relationship and perceived it as something more direct. After all, narrating a story for status claim does not need much buy moncler jackets toronto detail or underlying message for the man (or boy) to build his reputation on. In using the same example as stated above, men would seldom ‘dissect’ and analyze the fall of a relationship or a break up with a woman. It is most likely that men would just talk about the overt reasons for the break up and leave moncler coats for kids it at that without going much further into the details and analyzing moncler outlet location the psyche or the motives behind each moncler outlet online store particular scenario that might have lead to the break up.

monlcer down jackets Meta Messages and Direct MessagesNow, the misunderstanding in terms of communication ensues when the Meta messages and direct messages are clashed together in moncler outlet usa a conversation. Because women are hard wired in a different way, and men on the other hand tend to have aversion to complicating things and love for the simple and logical, clashing cheap moncler jackets perspectives when not addressed correctly could lead to miscommunication that could build up to have dire consequences in a relationship.

moncler outlet online For instance, a woman moncler outlet store seeking to have a conversation with her husband who’s watching television, would probably sit with him in the couch, and lean her head and ask casually what he is watching, who is winning, etc. Her Meta message is that she wants her presence known to the husband so that he could direct his attention towards her and not the television. The husband who discount moncler jackets was not paying attention to the indirect message being communicated would only pay attention to the overt moncler jacket outlet message being communicated and would probably simply answer her question without paying special moncler jackets outlet attention to her under the understanding that she is also interested on what he is watching. The wife feels hurt because she felt neglected or uninterested and storms out of the room. The moncler outlet online husband is then left watching moncler outlet ny the television thinking that his wife was not that interested in the movie or program.

cheap moncler sale moncler jackets cheap In the given example, interpreting meaning at different messages created conflict at least in the part of the women who felt betrayed or hurt by her husband’s callousness to her needs. The husband who was not paying attention did not even realize that the simple exchanges have caused severe damage to their relationship. It is these small and simple encounters piled up together that more often than not lead moncler outlet canada to the decay of a relationship. The break down in communication only tends to worsen these small misunderstanding until there is nothing left but to be separated since the relationship is no longer working for both of them.

cheap moncler coats The need to understand the differences in communication is vital for an efficient communication and quality of an intimate relationship. Because communication is moncler chicago vital, understanding the differences between the male perception and female perception with regards to communication is crucial to lessen the chances of miscommunication. Learning to decipher when a man is being direct or when a woman is sending Meta messages could also improve the quality of the relationship because this would assure that the needs of both parties are being communicated effectively.

moncler outlet sale Works Cited

Tannen, Deborah. : His and Hers. 31 March 2006. 🙂 glad you were able to relate your life experience.

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cheap moncler outlet Gender based Perspective on Communication and its Role in Relationships In my opinion, cheap moncler this is a great topic talking about gender based perspectives, when dating either a boyfriend or marrying your soulmate. Somethings are not discussed in the relationship prior to marriage or shacking. It’s all about the physical attraction,fun and games. The big picture, financial security. Once, the romance and the physical attraction loses its sizzle. The big picture becomes quite clear. I once was in a situation of shacking or engaged to become married and later realized our life views did not connect. I opened my business which we discussed before doing so and did not get the co operation or help needed moncler jackets outlet online by my partner. He was a very kind individual and loved to help others, but did not put forth the effort to help me and when he did his attitude sucked! In relationships, discuss and talk about the future. I once met with an insurance agent for the business and talked about other insurance options. Life Insurance I metioned this to my partner and he suggested are you trying to put a hit out on me! Priceless Or Stupid? Sorry, that my comment resulted in a hub. ;D.